In this week’s episode, I touch on my favourite bit of ADHD advice, but also the importance of not taking everyone’s advice!
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Podcast Transcript
Hi everyone, and welcome back to the Freelancers Teabreak. This month is October, depending on when you’re listening to it. But October is ADHD Awareness Month. And sometimes I feel like all I talk about is being ADHD, which is kind of like a hyper focus at this point. But I think when you are diagnosed later in life, like I have, it’s a lot to process in terms of re-learning everything. There’s so many different things that you’ve realised you’ve got in place, because you’ve been trying to do things in a neurotypical way. But even the beliefs about yourself, there’s so much to unpack.
I wanted to share something today that actually isn’t just for ADHD people. But it comes from one piece of advice I had, which is the best piece of advice I’ve had about having ADHD. And that is, neurotypical advice is not for you. And hearing that sounds very obvious. But to me, it then became so much easier to focus on what I needed to listen to, because I had spent so long, so many years trying to do things in a neurotypical way; trying to be consistent, I tried to do everything in a very organised way or any of these different things. And I couldn’t do it. And I always felt bad. And that’s because that advice was not for me, it was not for my brain. It’s not how my brain is built. But the reason I say this isn’t just an ADHD thing, is because actually, I think you have to be aware, well, however your brain works, you have to be very careful who you take advice from. So, if you’re an introvert, don’t take advice from extroverts on how they do business, because that’s not how you will do your business. If you are a working parent, or someone who has unlimited responsibilities, and doesn’t necessarily have just themselves to be responsible for, then you can’t be taking advice for someone like say, Gary Vee, or you know, someone like that. I know he has a family, but he is not the primary caregiver, or you know, somebody who is perhaps single, they might have snippets of advice that you might be able to incorporate. But don’t put everything into that advice, because that advice is not designed for you.
And that kind of loops back into coaching, really, because one of the first things I learned about coaching is that the best advice you can ever take is your own. And it’s why in coaching quite often, we will ask a lot of questions. But coaches shouldn’t really offer too much in terms of advice or tips or guidance, because the whole concept is to allow the coachee to create their own map, their own advice, their own plan, not something that’s influenced by others. And from watching my coaching clients, the ones that are the most successful are the ones that don’t necessarily take advice from others, but they are the ones that create their own advice. And people just follow their own advice and decisions more often. So, I want you to have more trust in yourself and your own way of doing things and stop trying to fit into the boxes that other people give you. Because there are so many ways to do business. As a freelancer in particular, there are so many ways to do things, and you need to find a way that works for you. So, take snippets and advice from everybody. You know, even in this podcast, I offer bits of advice. I don’t think you should do things in the exact same way that I do. Because this is the way that works for me, you need to find the best way that works for you. So, take these things on board, but don’t feel like you have to go all in on other people’s ideas or advice. Just take inspiration from them.
So, to end this, I wanted to give you a little bit of a challenge. I want you to think about how you’re going to feel and how things are going to look in less than three months at the end of the year, and what you’re going to have achieved. And I want you to really, really flesh that out, imagine it. You might want to write it down and write down all the things you’re hoping to have achieved. And then kind of get in the mindset of that version of you in the future. And I want you to think about what advice do you think that version of you would give this version of you today? So, you might want to write it as a letter, you might want to record yourself as a voice note. That’s my challenge to you. I’d love to know how you get on. You can come find me in all the usual places, the Freelance Lifestylers Facebook group, the website freelancelifestyle.co.uk or more often than not, I’m on Instagram @emmacossey.
